Traffic on My Mind by Sue Carbajal
I am setting out to write the entry I didn't want to write the other day. I am tired and it's late, but I am feeling led to write about it, so here goes.
I first learned about sex trafficking probably more than a dozen years ago. I was waiting in a doctor's office and saw a Newsweek (or Time, I can't remember which) with a cover story about the subject. I was transfixed by the subject. I sat there digesting the article and it's subject and getting angrier and more disgusted by the minute.
I will say, I saw this article before the internet became what it is today. I kept an ear out during newscasts, certain this would garner some sort of attention, but alas it didn't. Mira Sorvino and Donald Sutherland starred in the 2005 TV movie "Human Trafficking," but I didn't have a chance to watch it. (This was in the days before DVR.) I felt like, with such heinous crimes being committed, there had to be more news coverage.
So when a friend mentioned a passion for ending human trafficking, my ears perked up. She is currently trying to organize an event to benefit Dress a Girl Around the World. The organization supplies pillowcase dresses (with the organization's label on the outside) to girls in Uganda and other parts of the world. The idea is that girls who wear these dresses are less likely to be preyed upon by sex traffickers. They are seen as being cared for, as being important to someone, as being someone who might be missed.
The more I talked with this friend, the more the fire in my belly got stoked. She organized a forum at a local church and invited a trafficking survivor named Brenda to share her story. Brenda is an extraordinary woman, beautiful to the core. She held everyone's attention as she shared, over the course of an hour, her story of being trafficked for over 24 years.
She was raised by an alcoholic grandmother and started suffering at the hands of an abuser at age 4. By the age of 15, she was having her second child and was walking the streets as a prostitute. She remembers sitting in her apartment, watching the prostitutes outside her window and thinking to herself, "they look shiny. I want to be shiny, too." She suffered unspeakable abuse at the hands of pimps and johns and got no sympathy at home. She was held for a month by two of her pimps. One night, she was at a truck stop and got the courage to ask a trucker to take her home. He obliged.
When she got home, her grandmother didn't ask where she had been. She lambasted Brenda for having left her alone with Brenda's children for a month. She repeatedly told Brenda that she "wasn't worth nothing." Brenda's last experience as a prostitute was profound. Her john dragged her down the street, shredding the skin on the left side of her body, and then abandoned her in the middle of the sidewalk. Brenda was taken to the hospital and the nurses started prepping her until the cops showed up. One of the cops told the nurses that they knew her; she was a prostitute they had busted before.
The nurses wheeled Brenda out into the hallway and she sat there for eight hours until the next shift change. A female doctor took one look at her at got to work. The damage to Brenda's face was extensive and she was going to need to be in the hospital for several days. Every day, the doctor would sit in her room and chart. Brenda didn't indicate everything they talked about, but she did say that the doctor never once shamed her because of who she was.
The last day Brenda was in the hospital, the doctor sat on the edge of her bed and asked if she would go and visit social services. Brenda wasn't sure about that, but she did remember a lady she describes as a hippy. She used to minister to Brenda and other prostitutes on the streets. She ran a mission called Genesis House. Brenda remembers her saying to come visit her "whenever you're tired, whenever you're hungry." The way Brenda describes it is almost comical, but it was what stuck with her.
Her injuries were going to require extensive follow-up care. She was going to have skin grafts and needed to change her bandages regularly. She decided to take the lady up on her offer and showed up on the doorstep to Genesis House. What she found there--compassion, love, warmth--was something she had never experienced before. She says that she was able to sleep peacefully for the first time in years. She would wake up and her bandages had been changed.
But what made me cry was hearing Brenda talk about the refrigerator. The staff there told her to go into the refrigerator and have whatever she wanted. Even typing this, my heart aches for people who haven't heard such a basic, kind command. Eat whatever you want in the refrigerator. It seems so simple, but it really hit Brenda hard. These people wanted to help her. They loved her.
It took her a while to heal. She attended anger management classes, 12-step meetings, therapy, anything they prescribed. She did whatever they asked her because she wanted to get better. And get better she has. She is the co-founder of The Dreamcatcher Foundation, based in Chicago. She is a tireless advocate for prostitutes and other victims of sex trafficking. She drives a 16-passenger van around the streets of Chicago, handing out food and hope to women in need.
Her phone is always on and she meets the needs of the girls she's saved with money from her own pocket. Many of them are trying to make a different life for themselves, but food stamps won't cover detergent. So Brenda has her garage and basement stocked with detergent. Diapers? She'll bring them to you. She talks to girls in group homes (where girls are easy pickings for traffickers), goes into the schools and educates young women, works with the Cook County Sheriff's Department and goes into Cook County Jail.
She brought a young woman with her who had also been the victim of trafficking. I'll call her Jane (because I can't remember her name). She comes from a home with mom and dad intact. A few days before her 16th birthday party, her dad lost her job. She wasn't going to be able to have the Sweet Sixteen party she wanted. She threw a fit and ran away to teach her parents a lesson. Within a few days, she had been picked up and spent the next 4 years being trafficked.
Brenda talks about how the internet has taken all of this activity underground. One scam that snags young girls starts out seeming harmless enough. A girl will be asked to submit pictures of herself (nothing lewd or naked--at this point, the traffickers want to see if she's attractive). They will then say, "you're a finalist in our contest. Here's $250 and a ticket to Las Vegas. Fly out to Vegas and you'll be able to participate in the bigger contest."
$250 to a teenager is a lot of money. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong; nobody's asked her to take off her clothes. Someone's sent her a plane ticket--that doesn't happen every day. She gets her friend to cover for her, flies out to Vegas and vanishes. Brenda had us ask ourselves why there are so many people handing out so many different fliers for escorts in Vegas. She works hard to teach young women that they are beautiful. If they're not hearing that at home, if they're not being well-cared for, they are easy prey for a pimp.
I left Brenda's talk with even more resolve. Then, in this month's issue of More magazine, I found an article about trafficking. It offers some scary statistics:
It would be easy to turn my head and say, not my kids, but I feel like that just makes my kids easy pickings. I don't know what I hope to accomplish by writing this entry. I am one person, with one blog, with a soft heart for female victims. Females are abused all over the world and often in the name of God, a god or some other religious craziness. I have been privileged to be studying the book of Genesis. What I'm learning is that God didn't create Eve to be under Adam's thumb. He created Eve because he saw that Adam was lonely. He created Eve to be uniquely compatible with Adam.
I first learned about sex trafficking probably more than a dozen years ago. I was waiting in a doctor's office and saw a Newsweek (or Time, I can't remember which) with a cover story about the subject. I was transfixed by the subject. I sat there digesting the article and it's subject and getting angrier and more disgusted by the minute.
I will say, I saw this article before the internet became what it is today. I kept an ear out during newscasts, certain this would garner some sort of attention, but alas it didn't. Mira Sorvino and Donald Sutherland starred in the 2005 TV movie "Human Trafficking," but I didn't have a chance to watch it. (This was in the days before DVR.) I felt like, with such heinous crimes being committed, there had to be more news coverage.
So when a friend mentioned a passion for ending human trafficking, my ears perked up. She is currently trying to organize an event to benefit Dress a Girl Around the World. The organization supplies pillowcase dresses (with the organization's label on the outside) to girls in Uganda and other parts of the world. The idea is that girls who wear these dresses are less likely to be preyed upon by sex traffickers. They are seen as being cared for, as being important to someone, as being someone who might be missed.
The more I talked with this friend, the more the fire in my belly got stoked. She organized a forum at a local church and invited a trafficking survivor named Brenda to share her story. Brenda is an extraordinary woman, beautiful to the core. She held everyone's attention as she shared, over the course of an hour, her story of being trafficked for over 24 years.
She was raised by an alcoholic grandmother and started suffering at the hands of an abuser at age 4. By the age of 15, she was having her second child and was walking the streets as a prostitute. She remembers sitting in her apartment, watching the prostitutes outside her window and thinking to herself, "they look shiny. I want to be shiny, too." She suffered unspeakable abuse at the hands of pimps and johns and got no sympathy at home. She was held for a month by two of her pimps. One night, she was at a truck stop and got the courage to ask a trucker to take her home. He obliged.
When she got home, her grandmother didn't ask where she had been. She lambasted Brenda for having left her alone with Brenda's children for a month. She repeatedly told Brenda that she "wasn't worth nothing." Brenda's last experience as a prostitute was profound. Her john dragged her down the street, shredding the skin on the left side of her body, and then abandoned her in the middle of the sidewalk. Brenda was taken to the hospital and the nurses started prepping her until the cops showed up. One of the cops told the nurses that they knew her; she was a prostitute they had busted before.
The nurses wheeled Brenda out into the hallway and she sat there for eight hours until the next shift change. A female doctor took one look at her at got to work. The damage to Brenda's face was extensive and she was going to need to be in the hospital for several days. Every day, the doctor would sit in her room and chart. Brenda didn't indicate everything they talked about, but she did say that the doctor never once shamed her because of who she was.
The last day Brenda was in the hospital, the doctor sat on the edge of her bed and asked if she would go and visit social services. Brenda wasn't sure about that, but she did remember a lady she describes as a hippy. She used to minister to Brenda and other prostitutes on the streets. She ran a mission called Genesis House. Brenda remembers her saying to come visit her "whenever you're tired, whenever you're hungry." The way Brenda describes it is almost comical, but it was what stuck with her.
Her injuries were going to require extensive follow-up care. She was going to have skin grafts and needed to change her bandages regularly. She decided to take the lady up on her offer and showed up on the doorstep to Genesis House. What she found there--compassion, love, warmth--was something she had never experienced before. She says that she was able to sleep peacefully for the first time in years. She would wake up and her bandages had been changed.
But what made me cry was hearing Brenda talk about the refrigerator. The staff there told her to go into the refrigerator and have whatever she wanted. Even typing this, my heart aches for people who haven't heard such a basic, kind command. Eat whatever you want in the refrigerator. It seems so simple, but it really hit Brenda hard. These people wanted to help her. They loved her.
It took her a while to heal. She attended anger management classes, 12-step meetings, therapy, anything they prescribed. She did whatever they asked her because she wanted to get better. And get better she has. She is the co-founder of The Dreamcatcher Foundation, based in Chicago. She is a tireless advocate for prostitutes and other victims of sex trafficking. She drives a 16-passenger van around the streets of Chicago, handing out food and hope to women in need.
Her phone is always on and she meets the needs of the girls she's saved with money from her own pocket. Many of them are trying to make a different life for themselves, but food stamps won't cover detergent. So Brenda has her garage and basement stocked with detergent. Diapers? She'll bring them to you. She talks to girls in group homes (where girls are easy pickings for traffickers), goes into the schools and educates young women, works with the Cook County Sheriff's Department and goes into Cook County Jail.
She brought a young woman with her who had also been the victim of trafficking. I'll call her Jane (because I can't remember her name). She comes from a home with mom and dad intact. A few days before her 16th birthday party, her dad lost her job. She wasn't going to be able to have the Sweet Sixteen party she wanted. She threw a fit and ran away to teach her parents a lesson. Within a few days, she had been picked up and spent the next 4 years being trafficked.
Brenda talks about how the internet has taken all of this activity underground. One scam that snags young girls starts out seeming harmless enough. A girl will be asked to submit pictures of herself (nothing lewd or naked--at this point, the traffickers want to see if she's attractive). They will then say, "you're a finalist in our contest. Here's $250 and a ticket to Las Vegas. Fly out to Vegas and you'll be able to participate in the bigger contest."
$250 to a teenager is a lot of money. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong; nobody's asked her to take off her clothes. Someone's sent her a plane ticket--that doesn't happen every day. She gets her friend to cover for her, flies out to Vegas and vanishes. Brenda had us ask ourselves why there are so many people handing out so many different fliers for escorts in Vegas. She works hard to teach young women that they are beautiful. If they're not hearing that at home, if they're not being well-cared for, they are easy prey for a pimp.
I left Brenda's talk with even more resolve. Then, in this month's issue of More magazine, I found an article about trafficking. It offers some scary statistics:
- The U.N. estimates that trafficking is a $32 billion industry across 161 countries.
- Official reckonings of the number of victims are widely believed to be low, but according to the U.N.'s International Labour Organization, roughly 21 million people are being held against their will worldwide.
- Of those, about 22 percent are in the sex trade; others work in restaurants, on construction sites or wherever shadowy labor forces thrive.
- Every year, according to the U.S. State department, some 17,500 modern-day slaves are brought into the United States.
- No one knows exactly how many adult sex slaves are currently in the U.S.; estimates run as high as 50,000.
The article stipulates that "trafficking occurs whenever someone is held in the service of another through force, fraud or psychological coercion." I grew up thinking that (honestly, this is what I believed) women chose to become prostitutes because they liked having sex. It is abhorrent to me that we live in a country where slavery was abolished 150 years ago and yet, people are lining their pockets with the proceeds of sex slavery.
I am angry as a mother. These are people's daughters. I am angry as a woman. These women are being victimized because they are women. I am angry as a US Citizen. I live in a country that is a democracy and yet, really, capitalism runs the show.
I have watched Law & Order: SVU for several years. The invention of Netflix meant I could catch up on the seasons I had missed. SVU has had several storylines involving sex trafficking. They have helped me change my perception of who sex workers are, where they come from and what they look like. I admit, there are episodes where I want to turn away, but I watch because it's an education for me. I learn things about predators I wouldn't learn elsewhere. I have come to understand that there is no cure for pedophilia. I understand the signs to look for when someone is being sexually abused.
It would be easy to turn my head and say, not my kids, but I feel like that just makes my kids easy pickings. I don't know what I hope to accomplish by writing this entry. I am one person, with one blog, with a soft heart for female victims. Females are abused all over the world and often in the name of God, a god or some other religious craziness. I have been privileged to be studying the book of Genesis. What I'm learning is that God didn't create Eve to be under Adam's thumb. He created Eve because he saw that Adam was lonely. He created Eve to be uniquely compatible with Adam.
He didn't create Eve second because he considered her a second citizen; He walked with both of them in the Garden of Eden. He didn't ever command Adam to rule over Eve. He didn't give Adam permission to abuse or mistreat Eve. The New Testament passage about "wives, submit to your husbands" comes after a lengthy talk to men about how they are to love their wives as Christ loves the church.
I can find no basis in reality for why men treat women the way they do. It turns my stomach to think about Brenda's 24 years as a trafficking victim. I am angry that she was abused starting at the age of 4. I can't understand why this happens. I have had enough "bad" things happen to me that I know there's not always a reason.
But I have decided that I will no longer bury my head in the sand. I will no longer act as if this is not happening in my city (Brenda said she has actually rescued trafficking victims from hotels in Crystal Lake). I will no longer act as if it's okay for anyone to be treated with such malice. I don't care what anyone looks like, what color their skin is, there is no justification for anyone being treated this way.
In the end, I hope that I've given a bit of an education. The facts and stories I have shared only scratch the top of the top of the surface of this widespread story. I encourage you to visit Brenda's foundations website, www.thedreamcatcherfoundation.org. I encourage you to visit the website about pillowcase dresses, www.dressagirlaroundtheworld.com. My friend and I are planning to host an event where we will be sewing pillowcase dresses. If you are cleaning out your closets and find errant pillowcases, consider donating them to the cause. You can contact me at cteasabttn@yahoo.com and I can arrange to come and pick them up.
Talk about this in your place of worship. Maybe you can't contribute financially, but these girls need people to intercede in prayer on their behalf. Anyone who thinks they are "just praying" is underestimating the heart God has for these women. These are His daughters, heirs to His throne. He takes this all very personally. Pray for an end to this. Pray for these women to know their worth. Pray that our own daughters would know their worth. Pray that we would be vigilant when it comes to the safety of our children. For heaven's sake, pray!
You can visit Sue at Adventures In Mommyhood where she blogs about her life as a wife and mother.
My heart aches for these girls. It's a wonderful thing you are doing.
ReplyDeleteIf every school had a program like your 's to educate every girl about trafficking maybe some of the numbers would go down.