A Place Prepared for Victims of Trafficking

The following is a post I wrote for the Refuge For Women Blog

We walk quietly into the long, rectangular shaped bedroom.  The smell of a fresh coat of paint and new carpet lingers in the air.  There are no curtains on the windows yet and I can see the trees moving softly in the wind.  There are four twin size beds lined against the wall, but there is no other furniture in the room.  As we all find a place to sit or stand in the room I am suddenly overcome with the reality of it all.

Today we are praying through the home that will be our Chicago area Refuge For Women.  I am overwhelmed at the reality that God has provided such a beautiful, spacious home for his precious daughters to heal and be restored.  The reality that these precious daughters will have the opportunity to start over and step into a new life that is good and full of purpose is about to happen and it hits me like a ton of bricks.  As I sit on the bed, my eyes well up with tears.  I can picture these women resting their head on a clean pillow, in a safe room, and surrounded by people who love and care for them. 

I see this room in stark contrast to the reality of where she came from.  I know she probably bounced around from hotel to hotel not sure where she would be from one night to the next.  I know there were probably nights she cried herself to sleep wishing her life could be different.  I know she often felt hopeless, worthless, and unloved.  But here in this room, she will now have a place to call her own.  She can lie down at night free from the fear of physical violence and free from people filling her head with lies about her worth.  I know that some nights will be hard and she may have night terrors and flashbacks of the horrible things that happened to her, but she will now have someone beside her who can comfort her, pray with her, and ease her fear and anxiety.  She will no longer have to turn to drugs to numb herself from the pain.  I know that in the morning she can wake up and choose what she wants to wear that day and not what someone else has chosen for her to wear.

The dining room area hosts a long oval table, but not much else.  There are no chairs around the table, but as we stand there to pray, I imagine the women sitting around the table for one of their classes.  They are hearing, maybe for the very first time, what a healthy relationship looks like.  They are learning the importance of boundaries, what is acceptable, and how they should expect to be treated. I know the life they came from was very different than what they will experience in this home.  Most of the women who come will have grown up in homes filled with dysfunction, drug and alcohol abuse, physical or sexual abuse, or neglect.  They have not had healthy relationships modeled for them and so the way they began to form relationships of their own was skewed by what they had been exposed to.  I know they accepted being treated as “less than” because they had been told so many times that they were unimportant that they actually began to believe that about themselves.

I am overcome by the reality that soon these precious daughters will begin to see themselves in a new light.  The light.  The light of Jesus Christ and how He sees them.  The hard work of healing won’t be easy.  Their days will be long and structured, but they will learn that no matter what their past has been, that they can have a future that is bright and full of hope.   Despite whatever their past held, they will learn that they have a heavenly father that loves them beyond anything they could ever imagine.  He loved them before they even breathed their first breath and nothing can ever separate them from that love. In His eyes, they have infinite worth and value.  He sees them as forgiven, beloved, known, cherished, and accepted.

My heart bursts with joy at the reality that these women will soon arrive and they will soon begin to see themselves the same way that Jesus sees them.  

Do You Want To Get Well?

 

I could tell the voice on the other end of the line belonged to someone who was tender, broken, and fragile.  She was soft spoken, respectful, and incredibly articulate.  She shared a bit of her story and my heart wept for her.  She had suffered things that no person should ever have to go through.  She doubted her self-worth and why she was even born. 

After telling her about a program she could go to where she could receive healing and unconditional love, there was silence.  Then she began to ask questions. 

o   How will I get food?

o   How do I get there?

o   What if they don’t like me?

o   What about my clothes?

o   How do I know this is for real?

I assured her that all of her needs would be met.  We would make sure she had transportation to get to the safe house and they would give her a safe place to sleep.  The safe house would provide all the food, clothing, and medical she needed all at no cost to her.  She would receive counseling, life skills, and job training.  She wrestled with the idea of what was being offered. She wanted to believe, but it was hard for her to imagine that there might be hope.  At the end of her questions, she began sobbing and said “I know I should go, but it sounds too good to be true. Why would someone who doesn’t even know me want to help me?”

The answer to her question is simple.  Because that’s what Jesus would do.  Jesus went to the broken, the unloved, and the outcast.  He performed miracles because he wanted them to be healed physically, but ultimately to be healed spiritually.

In many ways, my conversation with this young woman reminded me of the lame man in John 5 who was lying near the pools of Bethesda.  This man was helpless and hopeless.  After 38 years of his condition, he had given up hope that he could ever get into the healing waters of the pool. 

When Jesus learned of the man’s condition, he asked simply him, “Do you want to get well?”  Jesus didn’t ask because he wanted to know the answer – he already knows the answer.  He asked so that the man would search his own heart. Did he really want to be healed and accept all that came with it?

Rather than responding with “Yes, I want to get well,” he offered excuses as to why he couldn’t get well.  “I have no one to help me in.  Everyone overlooks my need and moves on without helping me.“  Perhaps this man had been in his condition so long that it was what was comfortable and familiar to him. He now defined himself by his disability and saw no hope that change was possible.  Perhaps he feared change because he knew change was hard.  Perhaps he knew that a new way of life would be unknown and unfamiliar and had decided that staying stuck in the same old rut was easier than learning to walk a new path.

But Jesus doesn’t want us to stay stuck.  He desires for us to break free of all that ails us, holds us back, or chains us to sin.  He tells the man to Get Up!  Don’t stay stuck in your despair.  Pick up your mat!  Pick up everything that has kept you in this position or situation.  Walk!  Walk free from your past and walk into a new life with Christ. 

We reach out to women who are in The Life because we don’t want them to remain hopeless, helpless, and confined to their mat.  We know that if they are willing to surrender, take a step into the unfamiliar and the uncomfortable, that God desires to them to walk into who he created them to be. 

After Jesus had healed the man, he found him and told him to stop sinning.  Now that the man was physically healed he wanted him to be spiritually healed.  To be spiritually well, the man needed to know who Jesus was and all that he offered.  He wanted the man to be whole.

Our desire for the women we reach out to is the same.  We desire for them to leave their mat and be healed, but we ultimately want to point them to Jesus and the healing, peace, and abundant life that only He can offer.

Where is Jesus asking if you want to be well?  Trust that God can help you step off your mat and into his grace.

John 5: 1-15: The Healing at the Pool

Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals. ² Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. ³ Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. ^[5 One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. ⁶ When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

⁷ “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

⁸ Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” ⁹ At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

The day on which this took place was a Sabbath, ¹⁰ and so the Jewish leaders said to the man who had been healed, “It is the Sabbath; the law forbids you to carry your mat.”

¹¹ But he replied, “The man who made me well said to me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk.’ ”

¹² So they asked him, “Who is this fellow who told you to pick it up and walk?”

¹³ The man who was healed had no idea who it was, for Jesus had slipped away into the crowd that was there.

¹⁴ Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” ¹⁵ The man went away and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who had made him well.

The Invention of Wings Discussion Questions

"To remain silent in the face of evil is itself a form of evil."

(Israel Morris p 194)

Sarah realizes her father is a man who values principal over love.
"We Grimke's do not subvert the institutions and laws by which we live, even if we don't agree with them." (Sarah's Father p 68)
 

“My body might be a slave, but not my mind.  For you, it’s the other way around.”  (Handful p 201)

"Do you think I don't abhor slavery?  Do you think I don't know it was greed that kept me from following my conscience?"  (Sarah's Father p 317)

 

 

The Invention of Wings Discussion Questions

History:

The story of The Invention of Wings is based on the real life story of Sarah and Angelina Grimke, two sisters who were raised in a slave-owning family on a plantation in South Carolina.  Both sisters witnessed the cruelty of slavery and came to despise it at an early age. 

 

1             Were you aware of the role that Sarah and Angelina Grimke played in abolition and women’s rights? Have women’s achievements in history been lost or overlooked? What do you think it takes to be a reformer today?

2.            Did you learn anything about slavery or abolition from reading this novel that you didn't know about it before?  Were you surprised to hear about any of the punishments that were common for slaves, such as the Work House or the one legged punishment?

Objects:

The story includes a number of physical objects that have a special significance for the characters:  Sarah’s fleur de lis button, Charlotte’s story quilt, and the spirit tree.  

3.            Did Sarah's copper bathtub or Handful bathing in it hold any special symbolism?

4.            Charlotte's story quilt is her greatest treasure. Why do you think that is? How does the ability to tell one's own story shape one's identity?

5.            How does the spirit tree function in Handful’s life? What do you think of the rituals and meanings surrounding it?

Relationships

This is also a novel about family relationships and history, particularly as seen through the women in the story.

6.            How is Handful's relationship with her mother similar to Sarah's relationship with her mother? How are they different? In what ways did these other women define who Sarah and Handful became?

 

7.            Kidd portrays an array of male characters in the novel: Sarah’s father; Sarah’s brother Thomas; Theodore Weld; Denmark Vesey; Goodis Grimke, Israel Morris, Burke Williams. Which of these male characters did you find most compelling? What positive and negative roles did they play in Sarah and Handful’s evolvement?

8.            How would you describe Sarah and Angelina’s unusual bond? Do you really believe that Sarah influenced Angelina or might she have shared her same opinions regardless? Do you think either one of them could have accomplished what they did on their own? 

9.            Were you surprised by Charlotte's boldness? What qualities of Charlotte's did you most admire? What words could be used to describe her personality? Do you think some of her choices were stupid? What would you have done in her situation? 

10.          What were the qualities in Handful that you most admired?  How did Handful continue her relentless pursuit of self and freedom in the face of such a brutal system?

11.          Sarah's family's story relies on slavery. Can you relate to her need to break away from the life she had in order to create a new and unknown life in order to live with her personal convictions?  What sort of risk and courage does this call for? 

12.          Were you surprised when Sarah turned down Israel's proposal? Did she make the right decision in doing so? Why or why not? Did Sarah make a sacrifice for her cause or was it not at sacrifice at all? 

13.          Were you surprised by the reactions in the North to the Grimke sisters' speaking tour? Were you aware of how strongly women were limited?

 Ending:

14.          Was Sarah's mother's compromise in the end a good choice or a bad choice? Why do you think she wouldn't completely give in to Sarah's requests?

 

15.          How did you interpret the ending? Was it a happy ending?

 

The Grimke sisters left their family and moved North where they became very active in the abolitionist movement.  Angelina Grimke was the first women to speak in front of a legislative body when she addressed the Massachusetts legislature. As mentioned in the book, she also wrote An Appeal To Christian Women In The South urging Southern white women to embrace the anti-slavery movement and it can be read online Here.

The Language of Trafficking



The underground world of sex trafficking has it's own subculture of rules and terminology.  To better understand how this hidden crime operates it helps to know the language used among pimps and others in The Life.   

The following list of key terms used in sex trafficking is published in the book Renting Lacy: A Story of America’s Prostituted Children by Linda Smith.


1. Automatic — A term denoting the victim’s “automatic” routine when her pimp is out of town, in jail, or otherwise not in direct contact with those he is prostituting. Victims are expected to comply with the rules and often do so out of fear of punishment or because they have been psychologically manipulated into a sense of loyalty or love. All money generated on “automatic” is turned over to the pimp. This money may be used to support his concession/phone account or to pay his bond if he’s in jail.

2. Bottom — A female appointed by the trafficker/pimp to supervise the others and report rule violations. Operating as his “right hand,” the Bottom may help instruct victims, collect money, book hotel rooms, post ads, or inflict punishments on other girls.

3. Branding — A tattoo or carving on a victim that indicates ownership by a trafficker/pimp/gang.

4. Brothel (a/k/a Cathouse or Whorehouse) — These establishments may be apartments, houses, trailers, or any facility where sex is sold on the premises. It could be in a rural area or nice neighborhood. Most brothels have security measures to prevent attacks by other criminals or provide a warning if law enforcement are nearby. The security is two sided–to keep the women and children in, as well as robbers out. The places often are guarded (and open) 24 hours a day, but some have closing times in which the victims are locked in from the outside. Victims may be kept in this location for extended periods of time, or rotated to other locations every few days.

5. Caught A Case — A term that refers to when a pimp or victim has been arrested and charged with a crime.

6. Choosing Up — The process by which a different pimp takes “ownership” of a victim. Victims are instructed to keep their eyes on the ground at all times. According to traditional pimping rules, when a victim makes eye contact with another pimp (accidentally or on purpose), she is choosing him to be her pimp. If the original pimp wants the victim back, he must pay a fee to the new pimp. When this occurs, he will force the victim to work harder to replace the money lost in transaction. (See Reckless Eyeballing)

7. Circuit — A series of cities among which prostituted people are moved. One example would be the West Coast circuit of San Diego, Las Vegas, Portland, and the cities between. The term can also refer to a chain of states such as the “Minnesota pipeline” by which victims are moved through a series of locations from Minnesota to markets in New York.

8. Daddy — The term a pimp will often require his victim to call him.

9. Date — The exchange when prostitution takes place, or the activity of prostitution. A victim is said to be “with a date” or “dating.”

10. Escort Service — An organization, operating chiefly via cell phone and the internet, which sends a victim to a buyer’s location (an “outcall”) or arranges for the buyer to come to a house or apartment (an “in-call”); this may be the workplace of a single woman or a small brothel. Some escort services are networked with others and can assemble large numbers of women for parties and conventions.

11. Exit Fee — The money a pimp will demand from a victim who is thinking about trying to leave. It will be an exorbitant sum, to discourage her from leaving. Most pimps never let their victims leave freely.

12. Family/Folks — The term used to describe the other individuals under the control of the same pimp. He plays the role of father (or “Daddy”) while the group fulfills the need for a “family.”

13. Finesse Pimp/Romeo Pimp — One who prides himself on controlling others primarily through psychological manip­ulation. Although he may shower his victims with affection and gifts (especially during the recruitment phase), the threat of violence is always present.

14. Gorilla (or Guerilla) Pimp — A pimp who controls his victims almost entirely through physical violence and force.

15. “John” (a/k/a Buyer or “Trick”) — An individual who pays for or trades something of value for sexual acts.

16. Kiddie Stroll – An area known for prostitution that features younger victims.

17. Lot Lizard — Derogatory term for a person who is being prostituted at truck stops.

18. Madam — An older woman who manages a brothel, escort service or other prostitution establishment. She may work alone or in collaboration with other traffickers.

19. Out of Pocket — The phrase describing when a victim is not under control of a pimp but working on a pimp-controlled track, leaving her vulnerable to threats, harassment, and violence in order to make her “choose” a pimp. This may also refer to a victim who is disobeying the pimp’s rules.

20. Pimp Circle — When several pimps encircle a victim to intimidate through verbal and physical threats in order to discipline the victim or force her to choose up.

21. Quota — A set amount of money that a trafficking victim must make each night before she can come “home.” Quotas are often set between $300 and $2000. If the victim returns without meeting the quota, she is typically beaten and sent back out on the street to earn the rest. Quotas vary according to geographic region, local events, etc.

22. Reckless Eyeballing — A term which refers to the act of looking around instead of keeping your eyes on the ground. Eyeballing is against the rules and could lead an untrained victim to “choose up” by mistake.

23. Renegade — A person involved in prostitution without a pimp.

24. Seasoning — A combination of psychological manipulation, intimidation, gang rape, sodomy, beatings, deprivation of food or sleep, isolation from friends or family and other sources of support, and threatening or holding hostage of a victim’s children. Seasoning is designed to break down a victim’s resistance and ensure compliance.

25. Squaring Up — Attempting to escape or exit prostitution.

26. Stable — A group of victims who are under the control of a single pimp.
The Game/The Life — The subculture of prostitution, complete with rules, a hierarchy of authority, and language. Referring to the act of pimping as ‘the game’ gives the illusion that it can be a fun and easy way to make money, when the reality is much harsher. Women and girls will say they’ve been “in the life” if they’ve been involved in prostitution for a while.

27. Track (a/k/a Stroll or Blade) — An area of town known for prostitution activity. This can be the area around a group of strip clubs and pornography stores, or a particular stretch of street.

28. Trade Up/Trade Down — To move a victim like merchandise between pimps. A pimp may trade one girl for another or trade with some exchange of money.

29. Trick — Committing an act of prostitution (verb), or the person buying it (noun). A victim is said to be “turning a trick” or “with a trick.”

30. Turn Out — To be forced into prostitution (verb) or a person newly involved in prostitution (noun).

31. Wifeys/Wife-in-Law/Sister Wife — What women and girls under the control of the same pimp call each other. (See Family/Folks and Stable.)

(Source: Shared Hope)

Women Hold Up Half The Sky Museum Exhibit

 

Based on the book "Half the Sky: Turning Oppression Into Opportunity for Women Worldwide" by Pulitzer Prize-winning authors Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, the exhibit "Women Hold Up Half the Sky" explores the challenges women face in the developing world and close to home. Focusing on maternal mortality, sex-trafficking and gender-based violence, the exhibit shares stories of women from around the world. It also highlights the organizations and people who are working to help them such as a victim of human trafficking who became one of the board members of the Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation.

 

"One of our driving principles is that we want to educate people about the lessons of the Holocaust and how they relate to the present day," said Shoshana Buchholz-Miller, vice president of education and exhibitions for the Illinois Holocaust Museum & Education Center. "We want to shine a light on issues of oppression and inequality and atrocity and genocide in other places. We want to focus on women and girls and the inequity they experience, and how we, as a society, benefit when they have more opportunity."

 

The exhibit also provides opportunities for visitors to make a difference. It can be by sending postcards to their senator about legislation supporting victims of domestic violence, sharing what they've learned on social media, and giving money or time to help local organizations.

"We really want people to look at this as an opportunity to be inspired to take action," Buchholz-Miller said.

 

Illinois Holocaust Museum & Education Center, 9603 Woods Drive, Skokie, (847) 967-4800, ilholocaustmuseum.org/

 

Hours:

10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Friday through Wednesday;

10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Thursday, from Sunday, Sept. 25, to Jan. 22

Admission: $12; $8 for seniors and students; $6 for kids 5-11

 

(Source)

How Firm A Foundation

 

I am part of a bible study called Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) and each week we begin with the singing of hymns. I so appreciate the singing of traditional hymns.  The words are such a testament to the strong faith of the saints who have gone before us.    This year began with the singing of one of my all time favorite hymns How Firm A Foundation.  I’ve sung this hymn many times, but this day I was overwhelmed by the lyrics and how closely they mirror the ministry of Refuge For Women.  At first it was only the first stanza that caught my eye.  Most likely because it says Refuge and invokes the image of fleeing to a safe place of refuge in Jesus.  But as I reflected on the lyrics of the entire hymn I saw the same thread throughout.  Allow me to share those thoughts with you. 

 

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,

Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

 

ref·uge

noun: refuge

1.    a condition of being safe or sheltered from pursuit, danger, or trouble.

 

Refuge For Women seeks to be a place of protection for women coming out of the sex industry.  Many of the women have fled from a desperate situation or lifestyle.  They need a place where they can be safe and sheltered from the life they were living. They have been walking through sinking sand for far too long.  They are broken and hurting from all that keeps sinking and slipping underneath their feet.  They are longing for a firm place to land and someone they can count on.  Refuge provides a temporary foundation that is firm and stable.  A foundation they can cling to until they are ready to step out and navigate their life from a new perspective.

 

Ultimately, their true healing and freedom comes from knowing Jesus and placing him at the center of their lives, but Refuge For Women is blessed with the awesome privilege of introducing them to God's unfailing and everlasting love.  For many it is the first time hearing of this kind of unconditional love and for others who may have heard but not experienced Refuge gets to help them walk into experiencing that type of love for the very first time. 

 

Fear not, I am with you, O be not dismayed,
For I am your God and will still give you aid;
I’ll strengthen you, help you, and cause you to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

 

Women who have been in The Life are typically filled with fear and trust does not come easily to them.  There will be times that fear will overcome them and they will doubt their choice to follow this path.  They may be weak and unsure of life apart from all that they've known.  I love the image given here of God holding us up by his very own hand.  I picture a little girl just learning how to ride a bike.  She is unsure and unsteady, afraid to go it alone.  She needs aid - someone to teach her, guide her, and to help her accomplish being able to ride gracefully.  I imagine Refuge as the training wheels for these unsteady riders as they build into them and teach them the skills they need to go it alone on just two wheels. As the women become more sure of themselves, the training wheels will come off and God himself will uphold them and steady them as they maneuver along the pathway of life. When they stumble or fall he will be there to cause them to stand.

 

When through the deep waters I call you to go, (Isaiah 43:2)
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with you, your troubles to bless,
And sanctify to you your deepest distress.

 

For women who have lived through abuse and violence the level of trauma they have experienced can feel like an ocean of water is threatening to overtake them and drown them.  Refuge is there with them every step of the way as they process through these feelings as they heal.  Refuge is by their side reminding them that the rivers of sorrow shall not overflow.  There is hope on the other side of healing and that God wants to bless them with an abundant life filled with purpose. He will sanctify them in their deepest distress of recovery.

 

When through fiery trials your pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be your supply; (2 Cor 12:9)
The flame shall not hurt you; I only design
Your dross to consume, and your gold to refine.

 

I love that Refuge For Women is a faith-based program.  They teach the women about His grace and encourage them to lean on Him for their strength and supply.  The pathway ahead of them will not be easy, but with His grace they have a hope they can cling to and a bright future to look forward to.

 

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake. (Hebrews 13:5)

 

I believe that Refuge does a wonderful job of preparing the women for life beyond their program.  The women learn to lean on Jesus and are now equipped with the tools to be able to stand firm in the faith and their new found freedom.  They know that they will have foes and enemies that will try to shake them, but they now have a foundation that is firm and secure with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.  How Firm a Foundation, indeed.

Roadmap To Redemption Discussion Questions





Our group recently gathered together to discuss Roadmap To Redemption by Rebecca Bender.   This book is a must read for anyone who works with women who have been exploited.  Rebecca does a great job of helping readers understand the mental manipulation that occurs and the mindset of a victim.  The second half of the book is unique in that it is also a workbook for survivors.  Though geared towards the survivor, it benefits those who work with survivors by equipping them how to walk along side them during their healing journey.

We started our discussion by talking about the tactics pimps use to manipulate girls.  We felt Rebecca did a great job of breaking these down and providing examples of this process.   

 

Grooming	Turning Out	Breaking
He spends a lot of time with her. He takes her to dinners and clubs.	He may tell her, “You’ll get fast money for something you’re doing already.”	He physically abuses her for making simple mistakes and for being so “stupid”.
He buys her nice gifts like name brand clothes and jewelry.	He might say things like, “You’re sleeping with guys anyway… it’s not like you were a virgin before this.”	He berates her for not making enough money.
He talks about how much money they can make together.	He may force or convince her to work for an escort service.	He convinces her that she is the problem, and she mostly believes him because after all, he’s been doing this a long time.
He pulls her into his plans: everything becomes “we” in these conversations.	He may give her a quota to reach for the night.	She longs for him to be proud of her the way he’s proud of the other girls.
He begins to seclude her from her family and friends.	He may drive her to each “date” and promise to be right outside.	She realizes how alone she is. She feels like staying with her pimp is her only option.
He may start talking about marriage right away.	He may get her a new tattoo or “brand” of his initials, his name or a saying, especially concerning “the life” or “the game”.	She may believe it is her fault she got to this place and now only she will be able to get herself out.

After talking about these tactics we moved into our discussion.  Our leader (Thanks Hannah!) did a great job at guiding our conversation around quotes from the book. We spent a lot of time talking after we reread the 40 reasons she won't leave. It is so heartbreaking to know that such cruel and manipulative tactics are used to brainwash and manipulate another human being.  We saw a lot of similarities to what occurs in relationships that are marked with domestic abuse.

Here are the questions we used for our discussion.  Take some time and think about how would you answer them.

Quote: Pg. 5

    “Did you know that the Trafficking In Persons Report (the TIP Report), which studies human trafficking worldwide annually, did not even include the United States until 2010? We are grading each country but our own.”

Question:

What does this quote tell you about America’s general mindset about trafficking?

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Quote: Pg. 5,6

    “I love to use the analogy of a frog in boiling water: If you were to throw a frog in a pot of boiling water, it would jump out immediately. However, if you were to put a frog in a pot of regular water, and put it on the stove, allowing it to heat gradually, the frog would cook to death. That is human trafficking.”

Question:

Do you agree with this analogy? What can advocate groups do to keep girls from “boiling”?

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Quote: Pg. 11

    “...NEVER use the lingo to try to get on our [survivors] level or make us feel like you can identify. You may think, “See, I’ll use the lingo so she’ll know I know.” “Maybe she’ll open up to me if I seem up on the game.” The opposite is usually true. When you try to start acting like you have a clue what life in the game is like, you insult us. Not only is it insulting to pretend like you have a clue what “my life” is like, but you are reinforcing the pimp’s mocking of squares. So, really when you start using lingo, we hear his voice in our head making fun of you.”

Question:

How can advocates use this advice to better serve victims? Do you think it is ever appropriate to use the “lingo” with victims?

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Pages 28-33

    Reread the ‘40 reasons she won’t leave’ on pages 28-33.

Question:

Which of these reasons was most difficult to believe? With which of these reasons did you most easily identify? Why do victims continue to believe in broken promises and blatant lies?

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Quote: Pg. 111

    “There can be so many areas that may seem “normal” but have no place in the kingdom of God. Handling these things the way your family did may only lead you down a bitter path, or may trigger some of your old behaviors.”

Question:

What behaviors or habits have you watched a victim struggle to break after leaving The Life? What behaviors and habits did you learn from your own family and need help breaking after leaving the home?

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Quote: Pg. 130, 131

    ”...Lies are not always drastic.” “Not everyone who escapes from Human Trafficking believes in you Lord? You didn’t set them free? There are some people there who actually were set free by Satan?” “Yes,” The Lord replied, “They have just switched their cloak of bondage. “No, they are not being beat and raped, but they are still slaves to self-promotion, fame and importance. Their handcuffs are just fuzzy now.”

Question:

What thoughts do you have about this idea, that victims could be freed by Satan from Human Trafficking and into some other form of bondage? Have you ever considered this before?

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Quote: Pg. 136

    “The most effective boats have both a motor and an anchor. Two anchors would make a boat sit stagnant and two motors would send you spiraling in crazy directions.”

Question:

How should this metaphor guide advocates’ interactions with victims of trafficking?

Education = Prevention

 

One of the best things you can do to make an impact in the world of human trafficking is to prevent it from happening in the first place.  By educating our youth on the factors that put them at risk and the tactics that pimps can use to recruit them we are giving them the tools they need to protect themselves and the knowledge of how not to put themselves at risk. 

Once a month or so, we visit one of the local detention centers in our area.  Our goal is to give the young girls incarcerated there tools so that when they are released they are educated and aware of what to look for and how to stand up for themselves.

We don’t know the reasons any of these minor girls are in the detention center, but mostly all come from broken families or have been placed in the foster care system.  Unfortunately, most of them do not have healthy relationships modeled for them and the relationships they are exposed to often include violence, sex abuse, drug and alcohol use, or any combination of these things.  Children raised in these environments are considered at risk for trafficking.

Before going to the juvenile detention center, I pictured girls who were hardened.  I thought they might be difficult to talk to and would be disinterested in whatever we had to say.  I was wrong.  The girls here are creative and funny.  They interact easily and ask lots of questions on whatever topic we are presenting on that day.  They share about their life and sometimes how they feel.  It has been a pleasure to get to know them and to see them interested in learning about what we have to say.

Our visits last about an hour or an hour and half, depending on the day, but our impact there could possibly last a lifetime.  We never know if our visits plant hope, change a trajectory, or keep someone safe.  We may not know the outcome of their story until we get to heaven, but we do see the smiles on their faces, hear the sincere thank you’s for coming, and sometimes receive the blessing of a hug.

We start our visits with teaching time on our topic of the day.  We do this in a large group and we invite them to participate.  Each member of our team has a chance to present a portion of the day’s topic.  After are large group teaching time, we break into small groups for a craft.  This is where we have a chance to talk them about what they’ve just heard and go a little deeper with them about our topic.  It has been so rewarding and fulfilling to serve in this capacity.

Here are some points from different topics that really impacted me:

 

Self Esteem:

She (I’ll call her Mary) sits at the end of the row, away from the rest of the group.  She sees the stuffed animals that have been brought in for them and says “Don’t you be giving me one of those.”  She repeats herself to make sure she’s been heard. 

This day we are talking to the girls about self-esteem.  She sits through the presentation with her arms crossed and her eyes closed.  She appears to be disinterested.  Perhaps she is even asleep.  We go through our talk and the rest of the girls are engaged, interested, interacting and asking questions.  We give our presentation to them on our topic in a large group and then break into small groups for our art project.  Today we are having them write their name down the side of a piece of paper.  Their task is to come up with a positive trait or characteristic for each letter of their name. I am amazed at how difficult this is for them.  They do not easily see themselves in a positive light.  Even with a list of adjectives provided for them they struggle.  Mary joins the group and asks what we are doing.  She asks which name she should use as she has several different names.  I suggest she use her given name and she writes her name beautifully down the side of the page.  She is very thoughtful about the words she chooses to describe herself, asking if she can use this word or that word.  It gives us an opportunity to ask her why she is choosing a particular word or how she sees that word as a description of herself.  She opens up and even smiles some.  Her project is beautiful and creative.  I tell her to hang it on her wall because all of those things on that paper are true of her and she smiles and says she will.  It is time to leave and we are ready to hand out the stuffed animals.  Mary now asks if she can have two.  She’d like one for her and one for her niece.

Drugs:

Today we are talking to the girls about drugs and drug abuse.  We have brought in a recovering drug addict to talk to them about her journey and how quickly her drug use spiraled out of control.  I am somewhat shocked to hear that almost all of them say they have tried drugs, and many of them say they have tried hard core drugs.  One girl tells us the line she said she would never cross kept moving further and further and now there are no drugs that she hasn’t tried.  This day the girls are probably the most interested I have seen them.  They ask a lot of questions as the guest speaker talks and some of them approach her afterward to talk further about their struggles.  I feel like what she shared about her own journey has made an impact and I leave feeling thankful for the opportunity to take part in a ministry like this.

Pornography:

We sit in our small group working on the art project.  She is very quiet as she glues pictures of images that represent her or things she would like to represent her.  We have just finished watching a video about the realities of pornography where a survivor has shared what led her to the industry and how it was nothing at all like the glamorous life she thought it would be.  In the video, she talks about how she started using drugs in order to cope with the pain of what she is doing. I ask the young girl what she thought of the video.  Without looking up she says, “Her life is my life.”  She goes on to share that she dances in a strip club.  She says that since she’s been here (at the center) and not using drugs she’s been able to think more clearly.  She shares how she is afraid that when she is released she’ll just go back to doing the same thing because that’s all she knows.  Our team is able to tell her about a home for minor girls where she could go.  She is very interested and says she will tell her counselor about it.  We don’t know the outcome of that situation, but I take comfort in the fact that she now has an option she didn’t know she had before.

Myths About Trafficking:

My part of today’s topic is to talk about a common misconception.

Myth:  Only foreigners or immigrants are victims of human trafficking. 

Truth:  US Citizens and legal permanent residents can also be victims of human trafficking.

In fact, statistics show that 83% of sex trafficking victims are actually US citizens.  So while it’s true that people are tricked and brought to the US for the purpose of being trafficked, the majority of who it’s happening to in the US are US citizens.  Girls just like the ones sitting before me listening to me speak.   I ask them how many of them have thought of, or actually have, run away from home.  Almost every one of them raises their hand.  I share with them the statistic that 1 in 3 runaways will be approached by a pimp within 48 hours of running away.  I want them to know this.  I tell them that by frequently running away, they are putting themselves at risk.  I can see them thinking and I hope that they think about this the next time they think about running away.  They may be angry or think they are proving a point, but they are putting themselves at risk each and every time they choose to run away.

These are just some of the stories that come to mind during our short time of serving there.  I know there will be more and I am thankful to be a part of this team.  A team that, once a month, takes the time to build into the lives of young girls and to trust God with the outcome of their efforts.