Who Are The Men Who Buy Sex?

The men who purchase sex refer to themselves as hobbyists or mongers.  They flock to websites where they can leave reviews of their experience so that other hobbyists or mongers can benefit from their input.  They refer to these women as mere objects with a checklist of what services they will perform and a rating scale of body and physical features.  They offer tips on how to hide these indiscretions from their spouse or significant other.  Some even acknowledge knowing that the women are in desperate situations.  

These men are also referred to as “Johns.” A name that seems so nice, so generic, and so innocent for such a hidden, underground, illicit activity that causes so much emotional pain to another human being.

But who are these men?  Who are the men who pay for sex?  They are both young and old.  They are blue-collar workers and white-collar workers.  They come from various ethnicities and backgrounds.  They could be anybody really. 

It could be your neighbor or your child’s teacher (Teacher Charged In Prostitution Sting) or even your pastor (Two Tennessee Pastors Arrested)

A 2015 Report by Melissa Farley, Jacqueline M. Golding, Emily Schuckman Matthews, Neil M. Malamuth, Laura Jarrett details findings from interviews with over 200 men and their findings are disturbing.

“Sex buyers saw women in prostitution as intrinsically different from other women and had less empathy for prostituted women than men who didn’t buy sex. The sex buyers were more likely to report having committed past acts of sexual aggression such as rape. And they were more willing to say they might commit rape in the future if they could get away with it. The sex buyers were similar to other sexually aggressive men in that they preferred impersonal sex, had a greater number of sex partners (both in prostitution and outside of it), feared rejection by women, and had a hostile masculine self-identification.”  You can see the full report Here.

Why do they do it? Why do these men seek out sex with someone they don’t know?  It could be a lack of intimacy in their current relationships or the thrill of getting away with something that is forbidden or any other number of reasons. There is something missing in their life that is causing them to seek out this type of artificial satisfaction.  I don’t know what that something is, but this taboo encounter with no emotional connection is never going to fill that empty hole.  But the something that could is Jesus.  And that’s how we can pray. 

We pray for these buyers of sex to come to know Jesus.  We pray for them to be so filled with his love and hope that seeking this type of service is no longer desirable. We pray for God to remove the scales from their eyes so that they may begin to see these women as daughters of the most high King. We pray for them to see these daughters as someone who, just like them, was made in the image of God.  We pray for them to see her as the help mate God created them to be and not an object to be used and discarded.  We pray for these precious daughters to be seen as deserving of honor, dignity, and respect. 

Until we can change the mindset of our culture into one that seeks the things of God rather than the desires of the flesh, we pray.