Roadmap To Redemption Discussion Questions





Our group recently gathered together to discuss Roadmap To Redemption by Rebecca Bender.   This book is a must read for anyone who works with women who have been exploited.  Rebecca does a great job of helping readers understand the mental manipulation that occurs and the mindset of a victim.  The second half of the book is unique in that it is also a workbook for survivors.  Though geared towards the survivor, it benefits those who work with survivors by equipping them how to walk along side them during their healing journey.

We started our discussion by talking about the tactics pimps use to manipulate girls.  We felt Rebecca did a great job of breaking these down and providing examples of this process.   

 

Grooming	Turning Out	Breaking
He spends a lot of time with her. He takes her to dinners and clubs.	He may tell her, “You’ll get fast money for something you’re doing already.”	He physically abuses her for making simple mistakes and for being so “stupid”.
He buys her nice gifts like name brand clothes and jewelry.	He might say things like, “You’re sleeping with guys anyway… it’s not like you were a virgin before this.”	He berates her for not making enough money.
He talks about how much money they can make together.	He may force or convince her to work for an escort service.	He convinces her that she is the problem, and she mostly believes him because after all, he’s been doing this a long time.
He pulls her into his plans: everything becomes “we” in these conversations.	He may give her a quota to reach for the night.	She longs for him to be proud of her the way he’s proud of the other girls.
He begins to seclude her from her family and friends.	He may drive her to each “date” and promise to be right outside.	She realizes how alone she is. She feels like staying with her pimp is her only option.
He may start talking about marriage right away.	He may get her a new tattoo or “brand” of his initials, his name or a saying, especially concerning “the life” or “the game”.	She may believe it is her fault she got to this place and now only she will be able to get herself out.

After talking about these tactics we moved into our discussion.  Our leader (Thanks Hannah!) did a great job at guiding our conversation around quotes from the book. We spent a lot of time talking after we reread the 40 reasons she won't leave. It is so heartbreaking to know that such cruel and manipulative tactics are used to brainwash and manipulate another human being.  We saw a lot of similarities to what occurs in relationships that are marked with domestic abuse.

Here are the questions we used for our discussion.  Take some time and think about how would you answer them.

Quote: Pg. 5

    “Did you know that the Trafficking In Persons Report (the TIP Report), which studies human trafficking worldwide annually, did not even include the United States until 2010? We are grading each country but our own.”

Question:

What does this quote tell you about America’s general mindset about trafficking?

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Quote: Pg. 5,6

    “I love to use the analogy of a frog in boiling water: If you were to throw a frog in a pot of boiling water, it would jump out immediately. However, if you were to put a frog in a pot of regular water, and put it on the stove, allowing it to heat gradually, the frog would cook to death. That is human trafficking.”

Question:

Do you agree with this analogy? What can advocate groups do to keep girls from “boiling”?

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Quote: Pg. 11

    “...NEVER use the lingo to try to get on our [survivors] level or make us feel like you can identify. You may think, “See, I’ll use the lingo so she’ll know I know.” “Maybe she’ll open up to me if I seem up on the game.” The opposite is usually true. When you try to start acting like you have a clue what life in the game is like, you insult us. Not only is it insulting to pretend like you have a clue what “my life” is like, but you are reinforcing the pimp’s mocking of squares. So, really when you start using lingo, we hear his voice in our head making fun of you.”

Question:

How can advocates use this advice to better serve victims? Do you think it is ever appropriate to use the “lingo” with victims?

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Pages 28-33

    Reread the ‘40 reasons she won’t leave’ on pages 28-33.

Question:

Which of these reasons was most difficult to believe? With which of these reasons did you most easily identify? Why do victims continue to believe in broken promises and blatant lies?

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Quote: Pg. 111

    “There can be so many areas that may seem “normal” but have no place in the kingdom of God. Handling these things the way your family did may only lead you down a bitter path, or may trigger some of your old behaviors.”

Question:

What behaviors or habits have you watched a victim struggle to break after leaving The Life? What behaviors and habits did you learn from your own family and need help breaking after leaving the home?

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Quote: Pg. 130, 131

    ”...Lies are not always drastic.” “Not everyone who escapes from Human Trafficking believes in you Lord? You didn’t set them free? There are some people there who actually were set free by Satan?” “Yes,” The Lord replied, “They have just switched their cloak of bondage. “No, they are not being beat and raped, but they are still slaves to self-promotion, fame and importance. Their handcuffs are just fuzzy now.”

Question:

What thoughts do you have about this idea, that victims could be freed by Satan from Human Trafficking and into some other form of bondage? Have you ever considered this before?

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Quote: Pg. 136

    “The most effective boats have both a motor and an anchor. Two anchors would make a boat sit stagnant and two motors would send you spiraling in crazy directions.”

Question:

How should this metaphor guide advocates’ interactions with victims of trafficking?

Education = Prevention

 

One of the best things you can do to make an impact in the world of human trafficking is to prevent it from happening in the first place.  By educating our youth on the factors that put them at risk and the tactics that pimps can use to recruit them we are giving them the tools they need to protect themselves and the knowledge of how not to put themselves at risk. 

Once a month or so, we visit one of the local detention centers in our area.  Our goal is to give the young girls incarcerated there tools so that when they are released they are educated and aware of what to look for and how to stand up for themselves.

We don’t know the reasons any of these minor girls are in the detention center, but mostly all come from broken families or have been placed in the foster care system.  Unfortunately, most of them do not have healthy relationships modeled for them and the relationships they are exposed to often include violence, sex abuse, drug and alcohol use, or any combination of these things.  Children raised in these environments are considered at risk for trafficking.

Before going to the juvenile detention center, I pictured girls who were hardened.  I thought they might be difficult to talk to and would be disinterested in whatever we had to say.  I was wrong.  The girls here are creative and funny.  They interact easily and ask lots of questions on whatever topic we are presenting on that day.  They share about their life and sometimes how they feel.  It has been a pleasure to get to know them and to see them interested in learning about what we have to say.

Our visits last about an hour or an hour and half, depending on the day, but our impact there could possibly last a lifetime.  We never know if our visits plant hope, change a trajectory, or keep someone safe.  We may not know the outcome of their story until we get to heaven, but we do see the smiles on their faces, hear the sincere thank you’s for coming, and sometimes receive the blessing of a hug.

We start our visits with teaching time on our topic of the day.  We do this in a large group and we invite them to participate.  Each member of our team has a chance to present a portion of the day’s topic.  After are large group teaching time, we break into small groups for a craft.  This is where we have a chance to talk them about what they’ve just heard and go a little deeper with them about our topic.  It has been so rewarding and fulfilling to serve in this capacity.

Here are some points from different topics that really impacted me:

 

Self Esteem:

She (I’ll call her Mary) sits at the end of the row, away from the rest of the group.  She sees the stuffed animals that have been brought in for them and says “Don’t you be giving me one of those.”  She repeats herself to make sure she’s been heard. 

This day we are talking to the girls about self-esteem.  She sits through the presentation with her arms crossed and her eyes closed.  She appears to be disinterested.  Perhaps she is even asleep.  We go through our talk and the rest of the girls are engaged, interested, interacting and asking questions.  We give our presentation to them on our topic in a large group and then break into small groups for our art project.  Today we are having them write their name down the side of a piece of paper.  Their task is to come up with a positive trait or characteristic for each letter of their name. I am amazed at how difficult this is for them.  They do not easily see themselves in a positive light.  Even with a list of adjectives provided for them they struggle.  Mary joins the group and asks what we are doing.  She asks which name she should use as she has several different names.  I suggest she use her given name and she writes her name beautifully down the side of the page.  She is very thoughtful about the words she chooses to describe herself, asking if she can use this word or that word.  It gives us an opportunity to ask her why she is choosing a particular word or how she sees that word as a description of herself.  She opens up and even smiles some.  Her project is beautiful and creative.  I tell her to hang it on her wall because all of those things on that paper are true of her and she smiles and says she will.  It is time to leave and we are ready to hand out the stuffed animals.  Mary now asks if she can have two.  She’d like one for her and one for her niece.

Drugs:

Today we are talking to the girls about drugs and drug abuse.  We have brought in a recovering drug addict to talk to them about her journey and how quickly her drug use spiraled out of control.  I am somewhat shocked to hear that almost all of them say they have tried drugs, and many of them say they have tried hard core drugs.  One girl tells us the line she said she would never cross kept moving further and further and now there are no drugs that she hasn’t tried.  This day the girls are probably the most interested I have seen them.  They ask a lot of questions as the guest speaker talks and some of them approach her afterward to talk further about their struggles.  I feel like what she shared about her own journey has made an impact and I leave feeling thankful for the opportunity to take part in a ministry like this.

Pornography:

We sit in our small group working on the art project.  She is very quiet as she glues pictures of images that represent her or things she would like to represent her.  We have just finished watching a video about the realities of pornography where a survivor has shared what led her to the industry and how it was nothing at all like the glamorous life she thought it would be.  In the video, she talks about how she started using drugs in order to cope with the pain of what she is doing. I ask the young girl what she thought of the video.  Without looking up she says, “Her life is my life.”  She goes on to share that she dances in a strip club.  She says that since she’s been here (at the center) and not using drugs she’s been able to think more clearly.  She shares how she is afraid that when she is released she’ll just go back to doing the same thing because that’s all she knows.  Our team is able to tell her about a home for minor girls where she could go.  She is very interested and says she will tell her counselor about it.  We don’t know the outcome of that situation, but I take comfort in the fact that she now has an option she didn’t know she had before.

Myths About Trafficking:

My part of today’s topic is to talk about a common misconception.

Myth:  Only foreigners or immigrants are victims of human trafficking. 

Truth:  US Citizens and legal permanent residents can also be victims of human trafficking.

In fact, statistics show that 83% of sex trafficking victims are actually US citizens.  So while it’s true that people are tricked and brought to the US for the purpose of being trafficked, the majority of who it’s happening to in the US are US citizens.  Girls just like the ones sitting before me listening to me speak.   I ask them how many of them have thought of, or actually have, run away from home.  Almost every one of them raises their hand.  I share with them the statistic that 1 in 3 runaways will be approached by a pimp within 48 hours of running away.  I want them to know this.  I tell them that by frequently running away, they are putting themselves at risk.  I can see them thinking and I hope that they think about this the next time they think about running away.  They may be angry or think they are proving a point, but they are putting themselves at risk each and every time they choose to run away.

These are just some of the stories that come to mind during our short time of serving there.  I know there will be more and I am thankful to be a part of this team.  A team that, once a month, takes the time to build into the lives of young girls and to trust God with the outcome of their efforts.

Your Past Does Not Define Your Future

Her name was Minnie. 

Both of her parents died when she was just 14 and she married at the tender age of 16.  She gave birth to 14 children, but only half would survive longer than she did.  She lost four of her children when they died at a young age and after her husband left the home she became a single mother caring for 10 children.  Because neither of her parents were alive, she had no one to turn to for help.

Three more of her children would die as young adults within 1 year of each other.

Three of her children ran away from home because of the living conditions and ended up in an orphanage.  When Minnie died the 2 children still living at home were placed in orphanages.

Her name was Minnie and she was my great grandmother. 

Although, I never met Minnie I feel like I know her.  I’ve often thought about what her life must have been like.  How hard it would be to survive the loss of one child much less 7 children. There was no dishwasher to wash the dishes after feeding 10 children. There was no husband to help her cook those meals or to put those 10 children to bed each night.  There was not enough money to afford the medicine that would keep them healthy when the influenza pandemic occurred in the early 1900’s claiming the lives of half her children.

When I began researching my family tree I was fortunate that my grandmother was still alive so that I could ask her questions.  At first she was reluctant to give information, but eventually she ended up sharing a lot of family history.  Some of which was hard to hear.  My grandfather was one of the 3 that ran away from home and ended up in the orphanage.  She told me that 2 of his older sisters had moved to NYC where they “made their living off of men” as she put it.

In her own family, her mother married someone that the family didn’t approve of so she was essentially disowned.  They separated when my grandmother was just a baby and left her mother as a single parent to care for her 5 children.   Since her mother had no family to turn to she too was alone in caring for her children.

There was so much heartbreak and family brokenness.  But it didn’t start with this generation. 

Her name was Melissa.  She had 5 children when her husband went off to fight in the Civil war. Shortly after, she would leave all but the youngest in the care of her mother and it was reported that she went to NY City with a man where they kept a house of “Ill fame.”  Melissa most likely did not know that her husband had been captured and taken to Andersonville Confederate prison in Georgia where he later died because of the horrific conditions.

Documents for John Gowers pension file dated 1875 describe how John was thought to have deserted the Army.  Perhaps Melissa never heard from her husband after he left for war and feared the worst for his fate.  At the very least, she may have been discouraged by so little contact from him.  The soldiers in Andersonville were restricted to single page letters left unsealed in a small wooden mailbox.  After being screened for approval, the letters were forwarded to Richmond by boat.  They generally reached their destination, but sometimes not for several months.

Documents for John Gowers pension file dated 1870 state that in 1863 or 64, Melissa left all the children except her youngest child, John Jr., in the care of her mother (one document states it was her mother). The document further stated that Melissa "absconded" to NYC with a man and never returned.    It was believed that she and this man kept a house of "ill fame” in the year of 1866.  After a diligent search for Melissa it was common report that she and the child John Jr died in 1868. 

The four children she left behind when she “absconded” to NYC were subsequently placed in orphanage homes.

Melissa was the mother of Minnie’s husband in the first story above.

I was struck by the similarities in the stories of two different women from two different generations. Both had a husband leave (admittedly for very different reasons) and both ended up with their children placed in orphanages.

Melissa made a decision all those years ago that affected the lives of her children and subsequently the lives of her children’s children.  Perhaps it seemed normal for Minnie’s husband to leave as he himself grew up without parents to care for him.  The same thing he experienced was then repeated in his own family.  I find it so interesting (and tragic) that both generations had women who went to NYC and engaged in prostitution.  The women from these two generations never knew each other and the younger generation most likely did not know the story of what happened to Melissa yet their situations were similar and their lives repeated the same trajectory.

 

 

I am so thankful that my grandmother and grandfather chose not to repeat that cycle of brokenness and heartbreak.  Because they chose to break that cycle, my dad grew up in a family that valued staying together.  My grandparents worked hard and made a good life for themselves and their children.  Because of their choice, I then grew up in the same environment.

But many families today continue to repeat the same cycles of brokenness and dysfunction that they grew up in.  Many girls who end up trapped in a life of prostitution are simply repeating the cycle of what occurred in their own family.  Their view of love has been skewed by what they experienced growing up.  Some see violence and verbal abuse as something that is normal and acceptable.  When your only exposure to relationships are to those that are unhealthy, your view of what you will tolerate is much different than those who are exposed to healthy relationships.  

For those that run away from a home they can’t endure any longer, as my own ancestors did, they are putting themselves at risk.  Statistics show that 1 in 3 runaways will be approached by a pimp within 48 hours.  If you’re 13 years old and out on the street not knowing where you will sleep that night you are at risk.  When a sweet talking older man offers to feed you and give you a place to stay, at just 13, you are likely to go with him because you don’t know how to survive all alone.

For some, poverty runs so deep that they have seen their own parents struggle to survive.  Prostitution then becomes about lack of choices and opportunities.  These women may believe that this is the only way they know to survive. Once that cycle starts it is a hard one to break because you have no real job experience to put on a resume. 

The good news is that we can choose to draw a line in the sand and say No More because I want different for my family. 

One of the things I am passionate about is letting women know their worth and value.   I want them to know that whatever their family situation is that they have a heavenly Father who loves them more than anything they could ever imagine. A father who will never leave them or disappoint them.   I want them to know that their future looks a lot brighter than what they may have experienced or been told.  They don’t have to let the past define their future. They can change the trajectory of the path they’ve been set upon and change the future for themselves and for their children. It won’t be easy and will require hard work, but the end result is a beautiful life filled with purpose and potential.  God has a plan for each and every one of us and my desire if for women to step into that life.

Who Are The Men Who Buy Sex?

The men who purchase sex refer to themselves as hobbyists or mongers.  They flock to websites where they can leave reviews of their experience so that other hobbyists or mongers can benefit from their input.  They refer to these women as mere objects with a checklist of what services they will perform and a rating scale of body and physical features.  They offer tips on how to hide these indiscretions from their spouse or significant other.  Some even acknowledge knowing that the women are in desperate situations.  

These men are also referred to as “Johns.” A name that seems so nice, so generic, and so innocent for such a hidden, underground, illicit activity that causes so much emotional pain to another human being.

But who are these men?  Who are the men who pay for sex?  They are both young and old.  They are blue-collar workers and white-collar workers.  They come from various ethnicities and backgrounds.  They could be anybody really. 

It could be your neighbor or your child’s teacher (Teacher Charged In Prostitution Sting) or even your pastor (Two Tennessee Pastors Arrested)

A 2015 Report by Melissa Farley, Jacqueline M. Golding, Emily Schuckman Matthews, Neil M. Malamuth, Laura Jarrett details findings from interviews with over 200 men and their findings are disturbing.

“Sex buyers saw women in prostitution as intrinsically different from other women and had less empathy for prostituted women than men who didn’t buy sex. The sex buyers were more likely to report having committed past acts of sexual aggression such as rape. And they were more willing to say they might commit rape in the future if they could get away with it. The sex buyers were similar to other sexually aggressive men in that they preferred impersonal sex, had a greater number of sex partners (both in prostitution and outside of it), feared rejection by women, and had a hostile masculine self-identification.”  You can see the full report Here.

Why do they do it? Why do these men seek out sex with someone they don’t know?  It could be a lack of intimacy in their current relationships or the thrill of getting away with something that is forbidden or any other number of reasons. There is something missing in their life that is causing them to seek out this type of artificial satisfaction.  I don’t know what that something is, but this taboo encounter with no emotional connection is never going to fill that empty hole.  But the something that could is Jesus.  And that’s how we can pray. 

We pray for these buyers of sex to come to know Jesus.  We pray for them to be so filled with his love and hope that seeking this type of service is no longer desirable. We pray for God to remove the scales from their eyes so that they may begin to see these women as daughters of the most high King. We pray for them to see these daughters as someone who, just like them, was made in the image of God.  We pray for them to see her as the help mate God created them to be and not an object to be used and discarded.  We pray for these precious daughters to be seen as deserving of honor, dignity, and respect. 

Until we can change the mindset of our culture into one that seeks the things of God rather than the desires of the flesh, we pray.

What Does Freedom Mean To You?

As we celebrate the 4^th of July, I wonder how many of us actually take time to ponder the meaning of independence and freedom.

 

A simple definition of the 4^th of July (also know as Independence Day) is the day we celebrate our declaration of independence from Great Britain. It is a day where families celebrate with picnics, barbecues, parades and fireworks. We hang our American flags to show our pride for our country and the American tradition and for our political and religious freedoms.

We live in “The Land of the Free.” 

But unfortunately not everyone is free. It is estimated that there are 27 Million slaves in the world.  Right here, in our Chicago area, an estimated 16,000 – 25,000 women and girls are exploited each and every year.

To a victim of human trafficking, freedom means something altogether different.

It can mean something as simple as:

• A safe place to sleep
• Freedom to come and go as they please
• Being able to keep money they earn
• Freedom to make their own decisions
• To be called by their own name rather than one given to them by a pimp
• Freedom from physical violence
• The ability to pursue their own dreams 

It is very difficult for a victim of trafficking to heal and recover from the atrocities that have happened to them.  The amount of healing and restoration that needs to take place is tremendous.

The bible tells us in John 8:32

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free

I pray that victims everywhere would come to know the truth of Jesus Christ. That someone will teach them about the love and peace that comes from Him. I pray they can experience true healing and freedom as they come to know the great love our Father has lavished on us.  I pray that they will come to know Jesus as their own personal Lord and Savior.  And that by knowing Him that chains will be broken and they will truly be set free. 

Free from the control of another human being

Free from physical abuse
Free from emotional abuse
Free to make their own decisions
Free to pursue their own dreams

They may never forget the traumatic things they have experienced, but I pray that they will come to know peace. The peace of God, which passes all understanding,

A Mission Trip To Thailand

I recently had the privilege to hear Vanessa Martinez speak about her mission trip to Thailand with Women At Risk.  Vanessa is a wonderful speaker and many of us were in tears as she shared her heart and stories of what she saw on her journey to orphanages and safe houses.  I wanted to share with you some specifics on Thailand as well as some of what Vanessa shared regarding her trip.      

Thailand

Thailand, a country in Southeast Asia, is a popular tourist destination for more than 11 million people each year.  Unfortunately, Thailand also has a dark side and is the #1 destination for sex tourism.  It is considered a major source, transit, and destination country for men, women, and children trafficked for the purposes of sexual exploitation and forced labor. 

Trafficking in Thailand

Trafficking in Thailand looks much different than what we see in the US.  Here, culture and poverty play a huge role and children of poor families are often the victims.  Many are forced into prostitution by their parents and many are lured and captured by the traffickers.  In this culture, families will knowingly sell their daughters into trafficking because of the extreme poverty or they will get tricked into thinking they are sending her off to a better life where she can send money home and support them only to find out there is no hotel job or maid work and that she is going to be selling herself for money.  Christine Caine shared a story of one such girl in A Mother's Impossible Choice.

There are approximately 3 million sex workers in Thailand and roughly a third of them are minors. Unfortunately, a large number of the sex workers in Thailand are forced into prostitution through human trafficking.  Sex can be negotiated in a wide variety of venues (Go Go bars, Karaoke bars, brothels, etc.) for as little as $30 US dollars and a small fee to the bar.

Sex tourism, which is the organization of vacations for the purpose of taking advantage of the lack of restrictions regarding prostitution and sexual activities in foreign countries, is thriving in Thailand.  The city of Pattaya is at the top of the list and boasts the title, “The sex capital of the world.”  Pattaya accommodates over 5 million tourists annually.  Prostitution is illegal — but everyone turns a blind eye.  The high demand and the fact that this industry brings in billions of dollars each year to the Thai economy has caused many government officials, politicians and police to turn a blind eye to illegal activities– making it very difficult to crack down on sex trafficking.

According to the annual TIP (Trafficking in Person) Report, which rates each country as Tier 1, 2 or 3 in regards to their laws and efforts to fight trafficking, Thailand has been doing the bare minimum.  Thailand is currently a tier 3, which is the lowest of the ratings.  This means their government, does not fully comply with the minimum standards and is NOT making significant efforts to do so.

• Since the report began though 2009, Thailand was rated as tier 2.
• From 2010 – 2013 placed on the Tier 2 watch list, which meant they were in danger of being placed in Tier 3.  (After the third year, a country must either improve to Tier 2 or be automatically downgraded to Tier 3.)
• In  2014, they were automatically downgraded to Tier 3 and remained there for the 2015 report.

Resources:

ECPAT (End Child Prostitution and Trafficking)

http://www.ecpat.org/
Based in Bangkok and does a great job in fighting sex tourism

Destiny Rescue

https://www.destinyrescue.org/us/
Based in Northern Thailand (Chang Mai) and they do a great job in rescuing girls from brothels and finding them work in legitimate businesses!

Not For Sale

https://www.notforsalecampaign.org/
Operates a children’s home, which offers shelter and long-term housing for youth rescued from exploitation.

Vanessa’s Trip:

So for Vanessa, as a survivor, to step into this atmosphere and to stand face to face with exactly what she is recovering from is so brave and courageous.  She began her story with a little background on Thai culture and their religion.  The main religion in Thailand is Buddhism and ornate statues of Buddha can be seen just about everywhere.  One of the things I like best about her story was the picture of their group inside a Buddhist temple, but praying to Jesus!

She explained the phenomena of “ladyboys” which are so prevalent in Thai culture.  Ladyboys are similar to what we would refer to as transvestites here in the US.  Ladyboys sometimes choose to dress and act as a woman as it is fairly accepted in Thai culture.  But many of them were boys that their parents actually chose to raise as a girl for the sole purpose of engaging in prostitution as a woman.  For these “women” they are rarely allowed to begin living life as their born gender because everyone (including the government) now considers them to be a woman.  If you would like to learn more about ladyboys, This article gives a pretty good explanation of them without sensationalizing the issue. 

Vanessa shared with us how her group visited safe houses and orphanages and wrapped arms of love around the women and children there.  Their message to the women was that God’s banner over them was love.  They danced with banners from every color of the rainbow, each representing a specific character trait of God. At the end of their visit, they organized an elegant banquet for the women to come and be loved on, danced with, and treated like God’s princesses. 

 

 

In one of the more remote villages where they visited one of the orphanages she showed us a picture of a little boy who appeared to be a very young teenager.  In the picture, this young boy was a street vendor preparing food that he would sell so that he and his younger brother could afford to eat. 

She told us the story of how she formed a connection with a young Thai mother at one of the safe houses because they shared a similar story.  It was a healing experience for this woman to know that she was not alone and that someone else understood her pain. 

It was wonderful to spend an evening learning of a different country and a different culture.  Vanessa truly has a heart to sit in the ashes with the broken and to create circles of love and protection around them.

Lessons From Finding Dory – Come Home.

 

Finding Nemo was one of my favorite movies to watch with my kids when they were young.  And though my kids are older now they agreed to go see the much-awaited sequel Finding Dory.  I’m so glad they did because I left with a beautiful picture of just how much our Heavenly Father loves us and desperately wants us to find our way to him.

Dory suffered from short-term memory loss, and in the film we get a glimpse into her past through a series of flashbacks.  Because of her short-term memory loss her parents would spend their days teaching Dory how to cope with her deficit and trying to help her remember things. They worried about Dory getting lost and because Dory loved seashells they created a path of sea shells that Dory could follow to find her way home should she ever get lost.

We see Dory’s parents constantly reminding her to stay away from the current for fear she will be swept away.  Dory is intrigued by what the ocean has to offer beyond her home and she ventures right to the edge to get a better view.  One day she ventures just a little too far, is swept up in the current, and taken far from the only home she knows. 

Just like Dory, we can lose our way from time to time.  The current of the world we live in tries to draw us in and entice us.  It threatens to sweep us away and take us far from what we know and where we belong if we aren’t careful. We can easily become enamored with worldly things and the ways of the world rather than the things of God. Maybe like Dory, we take a few steps our of outside the will of God.  And the next time we go a little further from what God desires from us.  Just like Dory, before we know it we can be caught up, swept away, and lost.

Several years go by with Dory on her own, but then she begins to remember bits and pieces of her former life and she wants to go home.  With the help of Marlin and Nemo, Dory manages to find her way back to where she grew up.  When she first arrives she doesn’t see her parents, but what she does see left me near tears. Dory sees a seashell and remembers that was how she used to find her way home.  But there isn’t just one path of seashells.  There, layed out like a sunburst, are paths and paths of seashells fanning out from the door to her home so that no matter which direction Dory had come from she would have seen a shell path that would lead her home.  Dory turns to see her parents swimming toward her carrying more shells to create another path.  They had never given up hope of her returning home and were continuing to add to the path that would one day lead her there. 

What a beautiful picture of our Heavenly Father’s unfailing love for us.  He desperately wants us to find our way home no matter which direction we’ve gone or how far we’ve wandered.  Dory had Marlin and Nemo to help her find her way and I believe God orchestrates people, places, and circumstances to help us find our way too.  He longs for us to take a step on the path that will lead us to Him.  And just like Dory’s parents never gave up their hope of her finding her way home, God never gives up on us.  He is always there waiting with open arms saying,  “Come home, my love.  Come home.”