October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Domestic Violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence. 

• 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.
• More than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes every year
• Girls who witness domestic violence and don’t receive help are more vulnerable to abuse as teens and adults.
• Boys who witness domestic violence and don’t receive help are far more likely to become abusers.

Domestic Violence can have a devastating ripple effect into the next generation. 

If feel that your partner is becoming abusive or if you are concerned that a loved one’s partner may be abusive, there are a few behaviors that you can look out for.  According to the nation Domestic Violence Hotline these are the warning signs and red flags to watch for:

• Telling you that you can never do anything right
• Showing jealousy of your friends and time spent away
• Keeping you or discouraging you from seeing friends or family members
• Embarrassing or shaming you with put-downs
• Controlling every penny spent in the household
• Taking your money or refusing to give you money for expenses
• Looking at you or acting in ways that scare you
• Controlling who you see, where you go, or what you do
• Preventing you from making your own decisions
• Telling you that you are a bad parent or threatening to harm or take away your children
• Preventing you from working or attending school
• Destroying your property or threatening to hurt or kill your pets
• Intimidating you with guns, knives or other weapons
• Pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
• Pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol

Once the violence begins it can become a vicious cycle that is hard to break free from. 

 

Why Don’t They Just Leave? 

 

Perhaps you've wondered this yourself.  It's a question that is commonly heard in both domestic violence and trafficking situations.  Women in these types of relationships can both experience the same feelings of isolation, helplessness, and lack of resources.  Often, their fear of leaving is greater than their fear of staying.  To help get a better understanding of this, I encourage you to watch this powerful Ted Talk where Pam Taylor, co-founder of Dress For Success tells her story. If you want to skip to where she begins telling her story, skip to the 5:06 mark.

 

 

 

 

 

One of the tragic things that really stands out in this video is the fact that no one spoke up or stepped up to intervene in the story she tells about being at the mall.  This is heartbreaking.  As Christians we are called to love what God loves, and hate what God hates.  We must refuse to be silent about the things that matter...and women's lives matter.